The Mysterious Wind of Change

Good day chums! I trust you all had a fun filled weekend? Jolly good!

So for our first entry this week, I wish to impart a short story of an incident that took place whilst yours truly was out "On The Lash" Saturday night.

T'was in my local boozer we were, myself and a bunch of chums, listening to another of our friends and his duo-mate play the MOST amazing acoustic guitar set. (More of this another time)

The pub was rather full of people and it was standing room only for the late comers! During a conversation with a friend to my left, I noticed a gentleman of the older generation standing behind us, his back to us. On opening my mouth to say something I heard a noise, what can only be described as, a rapid escape of gas from a bodily cavity!! The look on mine and my friends face must have been a picture. HOWEVER! The look on our faces not 5 seconds later was something to be seen! It would appear, if you have not guessed, that said "Older Gent" had "Let-Rip-A-Good-Un!" The smell of which was not to dissimilar to  those nasty nasty stink bombs available from any good joke shoppe. 

After the initial disgust we could see the trail of  devastation this, almost living,  odour was leaving as slowly, moving towards the back of the room, peoples noses were wrinkling and utterances of revulsion were heard over the music. One poor fellow, on returning from the toilet, was made to fall back into the privvy as the smell collided with his nasal passages. (I do hope he was ok, because I didn't see him again that evening)

Whilst all this was happening, the old farter had vanished. "Left the pub in shame?" I hear you ask?

Oh no dear friend! He had merely taken himself into the other room to hide while the noxious fumes dissipated! However this was not the end of the odour related shenanigans that evening. As 20 minutes later, from the other room, we heard the familiar sound of people retching and coughing as another air-biscuit was floated!!! Lo and Behold the old fella appeared in our room again!

It is my idea, humble as it may be, that this a very new and Uber subtle form of terrorism! The aim, to gas us all, slowly over a period of months. Because, I can tell you, my esteemed reader, any more that 3 lung-fulls of that odour and you are a gonner, good night Gracie, time to pay the ferry-man!

On next entering our local pub I will be armed with 2 cans of glade and the old gas-mask my granddad used during the war!

Below is a picture of said Nose-Bomber. It has been censored to protect the guilty. However, if you see someone similar to this in your local please, leave immediately for your own saftey!